Rootcause B'gosh

8 years ago, a Libran like me, was probably asking for a piece of hell when I decided to marry my Aries wife (yes, cloud-9 really do clouds the klout).

You see, I've never been the type who reads the Astrology column during breakfast but a year ago, Madam Zodiac was forwarded into my Inbox. And to my suprise, Libra is supposed to be the EXACT opposite of Aries - which is read as: we should not even want to know each other.

The zodiacs were stressing on just how DIFFERENT Libra and Aries are that it's impossible to find a common like. Well, let the truth be known: I agree. Here, check this list out:

Iffil: Spicy food, please.
Sara: Chillies? Wanna kill me?

Iffil: Rolls on the floor over chicken crossing the road joke.
Sara: Just looks at Iffil, in disbelief.

Iffil: Needs 4 days to think of where to hang a picture.
Sara: Needs a nail, a hammer and a wall. Max - 2mins.

Yes, the zodiac is spot on for my case. But the weird thing is, even BEFORE we were married, we were 'special' friends for 6 years. And now, 8 years into our marriage, still in love with each other as we were during our Cloud-9 days.

Which prompted me to think. People usually use similarities as the plus points when searching for a life partner. In fact, so much time is spent in finding someone with the most similarities. But in actual - similarity matters not. What promises a brighter future is having the right attitude and personality.

One quick way to see a person with good attitude is; observing how a person RE-ACTS to a problem. If he's patient, forward-looking, always looking for a solution - then no mountain of difference is high enough. I'm probably just 10% of this. But I do try to be sensitive to my reaction to her preferences. And she does the same thing too - err... I think. Which leads me to think another thing: all of the world's problem is actually a result of REACTIONS. Think about it.

So, conslusion: your reaction is the make-or-break point. Therefore, the rootcause b'gosh is: the problem of the problem is not the problem but it's how you REACT to it. Note to unmarried people: find a good problem-solver as your partner... not a problem-maker.

A Sponsored Jacket!

Just came back from a convention in shivering cold Genting Highlands. And the biggest thing for me... I GET TO WEAR A JACKET! Woohoo!

Grinning ear2ear? Oh, gimme a break, I've only worn a jacket 4 times in my 33 years of living. Here's with my colleague, Chong.

Always NO, Never YES

"No" is probably the world's most used word. I'm amazed to see how often it's being used (or abused) by Marsha, my almost-2yr old kiddo. More amazing is to observe her customization of the word.

> There's the "no-no-no-no-no" with head shaking.
> The "oh-NO!-coke-(violation #1)-on-the-floor(violation #2)"
> The "nonononono" with finger pointing to the cat, bibik or mom
> The "NO!" with a cold stare to the poor girl whose bike she just took

It's not suprising actually. Small kids, on daily basis, tend to do "prohibited" stuff (e.g. digging the soil out of the indoor plant, slamming the drawers, smashing the remote, dragging the cat by the tail etc) MORE than "approved" stuff (e.g. ... nevermind). So, "no" is always at the tip of many parents' tounge. And of coz, the kiddos will follow suit and give it back to them. I just tasted my own medicine just now, as I was trying to take away a mug of Coke from her (she hijacked it from the guest we had just now). It was the 'no' with the cold stare.

Anyway, here's a sharing of my latest conversation with Marsha: "Hi Marsha, say "maaa-meeee".. no no no, put the remote down... say maaa-meee.. nononono dont throw... ahh, good girl, say maaaa... NO NO NO NO!............. *squating to pick up pieces of the remote.

Unknown Global Domination

Bye-bye is such a universal word. I've had meetings with people all over the world yet, as the conversation goes to an end... there it is again: Bye-bye.

How could a word that sounds so... funny, a little 'kiddy' and weird, almost alien-like, be acclimitized and accepted world wide? Who created it? Is there any reason for the word "bye" to be repeated twice? Hello is another word. But it's not as glamorous as Bye-bye. Coz in the Latin world, they'd rather say "Ola". But, again, as the talk ends... bye-bye pops out again. Bye-bye sounds very informal and fun. I've been in a heated meeting where there are some red faces, but when the meeting ends; with smoke still coming out from the boiling man's ear, he says "bye-bye".

Some people does not want to sound too 'playful'. So they opted to unrepeat the word and just say 'bye'. Which sounds weird and incomplete. So, they added in another word and ended up saying, "OK, bye". Then they realized that, the combo effects of ok+bye does not set a mood for a smile. On the other end, there are people who likes to be funny. So, they take one bye out, and then increase the drag on the other one. End result: Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Bye-bye sounds very Alaskan. It probably came from there. It makes perfect sense. As the winter-all-year-long Alaskan shivers, they probably stuttered and repeated 'bye' into bye-bye.

Then came the influence of the French to fight for global linguistic supremacy. They came out with 'chaio' (pronounced: chow). But it didn't make it to the mass market. It got into the niche market, though. But never big enough to see eye-to-see with the Alaskan.

Oh, my 6am conference meeting is coming to an end... Byeeeeeeeeeeee.

Basic Expectations

I suddenly realized, as I was talking to a friend, just as there are expectations in the office i.e. be in the office at 8, wash your coffee mug at least once a week and etc, expectations exist everywhere else too. Let me just throw some of it here…

• If you see an old man eating alone in a restaurant, when you pay for your food, just hand over some extra buck to the counter and pay for the old man too.
• If your love ones are not well, call them up to ask if they're ok and do they need any help, no matter how busy you are. SMS on regular basis. For guys, this is better actually, coz in addition to not bothering your woman's sleep, you do not need to put up with her crappy mood and croaky morning voice.
• As you leave the house, kiss your partner and give her a hug. Not the “will-i-ever-see-you-again” hug nor a perverted hug, just a quick “have a great day” hug will do.
• Malaysians are a bit lazy to say “Hi”. Fine. But, if you’re opening the door and there is someone behind you, just hold on to the door and let the person walk. Don’t expect to hear something like, “Thank you!”. Key word: Malaysian.
• If you’re driving in a slow traffic area e.g. supermarket, and see there are some people waiting to cross the street, hit the brake and let them cross safely. Again, don’t expect to get a thank-you smile. In fact, the best part of doing this is that, you could do this good deed with a straight inhuman face.
• When someone SMS you, answer it! Note to myself :-(
• If you are committed to a relationship, congratulations, coz you’ve actually have contracted yourself to be the top person on your partner's list of "people to be splashed with love as well as crappiness". It comes in a package. So, be responsible and accept it. And pray that the ratio of love and crap is 1000 to 1.
• Do not stand 2inches away from the guy at the ATM. Give the bugger some room for privacy, at least 3 feet away. I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if other people could see your PIN or even worse, see the screen saying “You Have Insufficient Funds to Withdraw”.
• Smile is the first thing you should do when you meet the people that matters to you, no matter how crappy you feel at that moment.
• When you’re with your partner, TRY to refrain yourself from ogling at other girls, especially the one in a car, at the traffic light, just across from where your partner sits.
• If you don’t like kids (or a particular kid), don’t pretend to like them. Just keep your distance.
• Say “thank you” for just about anything. In the case where you KNOW the other guy is supposed to say “thank you” but did not, then just say “you’re welcome” and walk away.

Is it so obvious that I have no idea on what to blog?

Born to be a Rock Star!

The Ethics Of A Conversation

There's a species of human that gives no hoot on the ethics of a conversation. They are either overly self-centric or made of tin. A conversation is always a 2-way street. There's a giver, and a receiver. The giver, who starts a topic of conversation, projects a level of emotion and atmosphere to the conversation, with high hopes, expectation and probably some giddiness. And the receiver, as fellow human, is supposed to capture those elements and response accordingly and positively. Lets take a simple example. A retired loving wrestler, as he prune the roses, says 'Howdy!' politely. The receiver, who just got fired and bitten by an infested purple colored bird on the nose, has a moral responsibility to respond just as how it was given - politely. If the receiver dismisses the ethic, given the situation, we could potentially witness the remake of The Remake of Wrestle Mania XXIIV. Now, imagine yourself giving an expensive gift to a special one. Only to witness your gift being shoved aside for an iPod and not appreciated. THAT is the very same level of frustration that could come from a simple conversation. Nobody likes the blood rushing experience of saying Hi! to a somebody who completely ignores you - in public, across the street.

A simple conversation could lead to many things. Be it a deeper friendship, greater love, new spring of hatred, anything. The ethics of a conversation is an important element in life just as the mall is to women. It prevents heart break, tension and wobbling blood pressure. When a person starts a conversation, he could be overwhelmed with excitement. For example, husband says, "Hey! our cat Meow could actually say his own name!". If the receiver does not recognize the situation, the wife could blindly respond, "I think you should wash your hands with soap before you hold the soap". In this situation, the husband is deprived of creatively expressing his excitement and ended up talking to himself in the shower while the wife continues to live life as if nothing has happened, only to find that hubby is no longer touching his food. Unwanted stress. Again, just as the example of giving a gift, the initiator of a conversation gets hurt.

When someone talks to you, it is YOUR moral obligation to respond to the topic accordingly. Never brush the message aside and respond with an altogether different topic. Even worse, injects the I'm-a-wiser-man advice. What a disrespectful situation. If YOU have a message to tell to someone, initiate the conversation. If you're not the initiator, then, wait till the initiated topic has finished, THEN you start your topic. A conversation is never about winning or losing. It's more about sharing over a mutual and emotional subject. Even a debate sticks to 1 topic.